I have failed

Fail early. Fail fast. Fail often. Don’t be afraid of failing. Have the courage to fail. We have heard of many glib phrases around failure. Seems there is failure fetish in vogue right now. All those phrases are fine as long as you win in the end. What if you fail? What if you don't win? No one talks about situations where a failure blows you up and how does one go about dealing with it. There is nothing glamorous about failing.
It seems that in popular culture we have cheapened failure. We have downgraded failures and have started confusing it with failure. Something is a mistake if you still have the luxury of making more mistakes. A failure does not allow you the luxury of making any more mistakes. So, let us not drink the Kool aid of failure.
 
Failure hurts when you fail. For someone who has failed the stuff around fail fast, early and often sounds like nonsense and downright insulting. Now what? 

Where do I go from here?

• Own your failure. Apologize to those you have failed. Never hesitate, nor delay the apology.
• Failure is typically accompanied by a question mark about your survival
• Survive ... stay afloat ... stay alive to fight another day
• Hang in there
• Staying alive... physically, mentally and figuratively is the only priority.
• Heal yourself
• Move out of the battlefield. You don't want to be in the war zone when you are at your weakest.
• Seek help. However, be wary that at times of weakness your friends may not stay as friends. Be aware of those who may want to take advantage of your weakness.
• Get into a survival mode. Conserve.
• You would not be expected to have any money. Still conserve whatever little money you have.
• You would be physically exhausted. Sleep, rest and heal
• You would be emotionally fragile. Avoid people, places and situations triggering your emotions
• If you have to cry, then cry in private. Act as strong as you possibly can in public

Where don’t I go from here?

• Don't conduct a postmortem. Postmortem is conducted on the dead. You are still alive. Focus on staying alive and not conducting a postmortem.
• Don’t blame yourself. You are fighting for survival, blaming your does not help your effort in staying alive.
• Don't blame others. You are weak, you need allies to support you. If no allies, at least you don’t want any enemies.
• If you survive and live to fight another day then there will be a place and time for a postmortem.
• Don't commit hara kiri (ceremonial suicide when disgraced). Sometimes the improper response to a problem is the biggest problem.
• Don't do stupid stuff. Alcohol, smoking and other forms of substance abuse are some typical behaviors of failed people.
• Don't become stupid? You have failed. Your intelligence has not gone down.  

The end goal
The only objective is giving yourself a chance at staying alive. Giving yourself a chance to recoup and regroup so you can take another shot at your target.




What next?
If you survive but are so badly damaged that you can no longer take a shot ever again. The best thing you can do is to become a coach. You can at least teach them to not to repeat the stuff you did wrong. Even if you can no longer win, you can at least contribute to someone else’s win. If you cannot be coach, then be a cheerleader. You can still support someone’s success.