Seeking help : Eight Paradox
Seeking help is difficult for most of you. Either we are supremely confident about our capabilities and don’t see any reason to seek out help. Alternatively, we are lacking in confidence to be able to reach out to someone, expose ourselves and be vulnerable. We attempt to understand the process of seeking help from the perspective of both the help giver and the help receiver to identify the paradox inherent in the process of seeking help. Understanding the paradox of seeking help will make us more confident while seeking help.
Eight Paradox of seeking Help
Paradox 1: Ask for help not because you expect help. Ask to make the giver happy
If you ask someone for help, that person may at times be irritated or may want to avoid you. However, if you don’t ask the same person for help that person may feel that she/he is not a part of your inner circle. Worse the person who was not asked for help may feel that she/he was not considered capable of providing help. The person who was not requested for help may feel that you don’t consider her/him close enough to share your stuff with
Paradox 2: Help received is inversely proportional to the amount of help requested
Banks are more willing to lend to individuals who don’t need the money compared to those who really need it. Poor relatives are rarely invited to homes for a meal, while the successful relatives are welcomed with open arms.
Did you not realize that getting help is difficult when you really need it? All are willing to be of assistance when you don't anything.
Paradox 3: You need a help giver or a scapegoat We seek advice, we seek help for us to have an alibi for our failure. We did not get good advice. We were not sufficiently helped.
Paradox 4: Seeking help from strangers - Appear as if you don’t need help
Strangers are more willing to be of assistance to successful people than to unsuccessful ones. Strangers love to assist successful people in order to get them in their good books.
Paradox 5: Seeking help from close ones - Appear as if you are dying
Those close to us need to see in you in a bad spot and they will come out running to help you.
Paradox 6: I am always there for youThose who say I am always there for you are the ones who 9 times out of 10 are unable to help you.
Paradox 7: I have gone out of my way to help you
Those who claim I have gone out of my way to help you are the ones who are able to help you but don’t want to.
Paradox 8: Gratitude expressed is inversely proportional to the amount of help received
Those who help the most are generally taken for granted. Those who help the least are thanked the most to appear polite and maintain social niceties.
Eight Paradox of seeking Help
Paradox 1: Ask for help not because you expect help. Ask to make the giver happy
If you ask someone for help, that person may at times be irritated or may want to avoid you. However, if you don’t ask the same person for help that person may feel that she/he is not a part of your inner circle. Worse the person who was not asked for help may feel that she/he was not considered capable of providing help. The person who was not requested for help may feel that you don’t consider her/him close enough to share your stuff with
Paradox 2: Help received is inversely proportional to the amount of help requested
Banks are more willing to lend to individuals who don’t need the money compared to those who really need it. Poor relatives are rarely invited to homes for a meal, while the successful relatives are welcomed with open arms.
Did you not realize that getting help is difficult when you really need it? All are willing to be of assistance when you don't anything.
Paradox 3: You need a help giver or a scapegoat We seek advice, we seek help for us to have an alibi for our failure. We did not get good advice. We were not sufficiently helped.
Paradox 4: Seeking help from strangers - Appear as if you don’t need help
Strangers are more willing to be of assistance to successful people than to unsuccessful ones. Strangers love to assist successful people in order to get them in their good books.
Paradox 5: Seeking help from close ones - Appear as if you are dying
Those close to us need to see in you in a bad spot and they will come out running to help you.
Paradox 6: I am always there for youThose who say I am always there for you are the ones who 9 times out of 10 are unable to help you.
Paradox 7: I have gone out of my way to help you
Those who claim I have gone out of my way to help you are the ones who are able to help you but don’t want to.
Paradox 8: Gratitude expressed is inversely proportional to the amount of help received
Those who help the most are generally taken for granted. Those who help the least are thanked the most to appear polite and maintain social niceties.
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