Broken promises: Friends not following through

Be at work or in our personal life with our friends and families we have all encountered situations where someone who promised to help you does not follow through on his or her promise. The double whammy with an unkept promise is that we get to hear of the lack of follow through at the last moment and we are stuck. Sounds familiar, feels disheartening but it stuck me that its quite easy to figure why such things happen.

Deconstructing such scenarios its easy to figure out that such scenarios follow predictable steps

• It starts with either a request, follow ups, emotional blackmail, cajoling, irritating, pushing someone in a corner or threatening someone to support us in our request.
• We don’t realize it but saying NO to anyone and anything is not easy.
• The person receiving the request takes the easy way out and says yes to the request and does not want to hurt our feelings by saying NO.
• The yes to the request that follows is mostly never supported with an intention to act on the request
• 9 times out of 10 one ends up hearing at the last-minute hearing why the request cannot be supported with a long excuse at the moment when support is required.

 The smart thing to do to avoid disappointments at the last minute

• Give the person who is being asked for support an opportunity to say NO when the request is being made
• Read the fine print. Read the NO in the YES and again give the requested person an opportunity to make a graceful exit.
• If you still have a YES, then check in with the person expected to help you before the action is required so that you have a better pulse on the situation and are protected from a last-minute shock.

The key takeaway from such situations is to make a pitch for help and support but listen carefully to avoid disappointments and lest minute surprises.